Brian Down Under
by MM-UP
Summary: What happened to Brian Kinney during his business trip to Australia... I thought I'd write a Sea Patrol/Queer as Folk crossover 'cause there weren't any yet. Rated T for language and implied M/M sex scenes (Don't like, don't read).


**Brian Down Under**

**Rating: **T for language and implied gay (!) sex scenes.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sea Patrol or Queer as Folk.

**A/N: **I somehow felt like writing a Sea Patrol/QAF crossover cause there weren't any yet... Here's the result. It can be set anywhere in Queer as Folk, but the Sea Patrol characters are those from Season 2 (Mike, Kate, RO, Charge, Swain, Buffer, Spider, Nav, ET, and Bomber).

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Day 1

Finally arrived in Cairns, Australia. Am pretty exhausted from the flight, but can you blame me? Show me the guy who can sit between two hot Aussies for hours without taking the opportunity to join Mile High Club!

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Day 2

Business meeting. There was this little intern whose face turned the color of a tomato everytime he looked at me. Turned out that he was still a virgin. Always makes me kinda proud if I'm somebody's first...

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Day 3

Another meeting. Mr Carver (my business partner) invited me to spend today afternoon on his yacht and see some of Australia's coastline. I agreed, mainly to get away from this stupid intern who keeps running after me and saying he loves me. No matter how often I tell him it was just a fuck (and not even a really good one), he doesn't get it.

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Day 4

So yesterday afternoon, we were cruising 'round the ocean on Mr Carver's yacht. Weather was really nice till suddenly and pretty much without warning, we were hit by a cyclone... hurricane... whatever they call friggin' big storms like that here in Down Under.

Anyway, just when the yacht was about to capsize, we were rescued by an Aussie Navy ship. I wasn't too happy about that- call me a walking gay cliché, but I've never been much of a military guy. The ship's captain was nice, though. He said they couldn't take us back to the shore right now, but their patrol was almost over, so if everything went okay, we'd be back in Cairns in three days. Enough time for me to check out the crew.

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Day 5

Mike Flynn (captain): too old and very obviously hetero (constantly flirting with that blonde bitch of his XO)

'RO' Dixon: computer nerd. No way.

'Charge' (engineer): too fat.

Chris 'Swain' Blake: a bit too old and I heard him talking about his wife.

Pete 'Buffer' (unpronouncable last name): I could start by asking him how the heck a guy who spends most of his life on a ship hundreds of miles away from every fitness center gets muscles like that...

Billy 'Spider' Webb: The 'nice boy next door' type. Maybe.

'ET' Holiday: Could easily pass for a Californian surfer if it wasn't for that Aussie accent. I've fucked a (real) Californian surfer once and it was pretty good...

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Day 6

Did a bit of fitness training with Buffer. Yeah, you can do that on a ship, as long as you bring your own barbells and stuff. When he asked me if I had a girlfriend, I opted for the direct approach and told him I prefer guys. He just said, "Oh", and then told me he didn't have a girlfriend at the moment. I suggested he might try and find a boyfriend instead, but he replied he was 100% straight. "I'm not homophobic or anything, everyone can date whoever they like, but I definitely prefer women", he added.

Later that day, I accidently walked into the kitchen... sorry, galley. When I opened the door, the brown-haired girl who was standing there slicing veggies turned around, knife still in hand. "Did they send you to ask when dinner'll be ready?", she asked. I replied that no, I just hadn't seen the sign on the outside of the door reading, 'galley'. She nodded, but didn't let go of her knife. A rather big knife, actually. "So, when'll dinner be ready?", I asked a little nervously. "In about five minutes, I just have to finish the salad dressing", came the reply, followed by a quieter, "Even though the boys'll probably not eat any salad... again. Only things they really like to eat are spaghetti and fried potato chips."

"Well, maybe they're teasing you about your cooking 'cause they have a crush on you", I suggested, causing the girl to roll her eyes: "Oh yeah, Spider definitely has." _Damnit!, _I thought. "I'm not sure about RO either", the girl went on. "At least ET doesn't keep hitting on me, he seems more interested in Nav_..._ Why don't you go sit down in the mess? Dinner's almost ready."

"Okay. Bye and sorry for bursting into your galley like that." The first person I met on the way was ET aka Mr Interested-in-Nav... _Double damnit! How's it that the good-looking guys are always straight?_

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Day 7

Back in Cairns, finally. And tomorrow, I'm leaving for the US. If I have to go Down Under again, I'll stay on shore- I definitely don't wanna be rescued by a Navy ship full of hot, but unfortunately hetero guys again.

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**A/N: **Like? Don't like? Feel free to review. :)


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